


How Cliche

by Sabrinanikkol



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: But he is, Cliche, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Implied Relationships, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, eren doesnt know he is hella gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3937489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabrinanikkol/pseuds/Sabrinanikkol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the only single friend in a group of sickeningly sweet couples is absolute hell, so Eren Jeager came up with the perfect solution to his perpetual loneliness; cliches. Determined to find a girlfriend to prove to his friends, and himself, that he isn't doomed to a life of being single, Eren embarks on his crusade of cliches to find The One. After all, everyone knows that falling in love is as simple as guy meet girl. Except when it's not. </p><p> </p><p>Based off ZinnaPetal's prompt/au - http://zinniapetals.tumblr.com/post/99280871424/an-au-where-eren-is-tired-of-being-single-bc-all</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everyone Loves A Coffee Shop

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dears! I hope you all enjoy this fluffy three-shot. it's short, tooth-achingly sweet, and just what I needed after finishing my multi-chapter fic, Wanderlust. 
> 
> I'll be posting the chapters on Wednesday, since that seems to be my day. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Oh, and again, this is based on ZinnaPetal's prompt/au - http://zinniapetals.tumblr.com/post/99280871424/an-au-where-eren-is-tired-of-being-single-bc-all
> 
> My lovely beta, always, is noticemecorporal.tumblr.com  
> And you can find me at fandom-lover.tumblr.com or corporalnoticesyou.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy!

It had all the makings of the perfect scary movie night - thunder was growling, the mood was set, and the movie was terrifying. There was popcorn, alcohols, blankets, m&ms, pizza, friends, and-

 

Everyone was making out. 

 

Not a single one of his friends was paying the slightest attention to the movie, all too absorbed in their partners. Even Sasha, infamous for her love of gore, was too busy making gooey eyes at her boyfriend, Connie, to be paying attention to the girl being hacked apart with a chainsaw on the tv. 

 

And after the movie ended, with the craziest plot twist he'd ever seen, none of them commented on it anymore than, "Eh, it wasn't as bloody as I thought it would be."

 

It was infuriating. 

 

He decided, that rainy Friday night, he was going to get himself a girlfriend.

 

And thus began the "Get Eren Laid with Shitty Cliches" plan, named by none other than Jean Horseface Kirstein.

 

***

 

“Everyone knows that coffee shops are one of the biggest romantic cliches of all time.” Armin explained as he helped Eren prepare for his interview by choosing his outfit of the day. “It’s practically a given that you’ll find someone there.”

 

“If I can get the job.” Eren pointed out to his friend, slipping out of his pajamas and into the jeans that had been laid out for him.

 

The blonde boy rolled his eyes, “Annie is the manager there, Eren, it’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll get the job.”

 

“Hmph.” The brunet shrugged on the shirt Armin had put out and began combing through his hair with his fingers. “Good?”

 

Blue eyes twinkled with amusement as they scanned him up and down before nodding, “It’ll do.”

 

***

 

Two days later, Eren had his first shift at the coffee house. As Armin predicted, he’d been hired with ease, and after a day of training, he was ready for his first official day at work.

 

“Don’t even try to handle the machines.” Annie told him as he checked in for his shift, “You’re on register today until I have more time to teach you how to handle drinks.”

 

Eren nodded, recognizing that he’d probably screw up every drink he attempted to make anyways, and took his place at the cash register, replacing Christa, who ran off to meet her terrifyingly tall girlfriend once her shift ended.  

There are several moments in a person's life where everything changes based on a decision in that moment.

 

For Eren, watching his sister and friends all with their significant others while at their weekly movie night was one of those moments.

  
  


Since the shop wasn’t very busy, he observed the couple as they walked out the door, holding hands. A dull ache grew in his chest as he watched them, feeling his single-ness like a stab to the chest.

 

He hadn’t always been so desperate to get a girlfriend, but after realizing that everyone he knew was in a happily committed relationship for some time, he panicked. It wasn’t like he hadn’t dated before either, but it’d been years. Not since his senior year of high school when he and Annie dated (which should be awkward considering she was now dating his adopted sister, Mikasa, but it wasn’t) had he had a girlfriend.

 

Which brought about the crazy scheme of meeting his “true love” -Armin was always a romantic- through classic romantic tropes from books and movies. Coffee shop meetings were at the top of the list.

 

And yet….

 

He’d nearly given up by the second week at work.

 

He didn’t hate the job, he actually ended up liking it a lot, but it seemed to make his desire for a girlfriend even worse. Couples came in all the time and spent hours chatting over coffee, and he was forced to watch from his position at the cash register.

 

Several cute girls came in over the course of his first couple of weeks, and he did his best to smile and flirt, but none of them seemed interested. He had always been confident in his appearance, but after his lack of luck at the coffee shop, his self esteem dropped remarkably.

 

Mikasa consoled him by pointing out that most girls coming in weren’t looking for a coffee shop romance, just coffee, but it didn’t help much. He was nearly going to give up hope of ever finding love until the third week at the shop.

 

It was nearly the end of his shift and he was manning the register, as per usual, when he noticed a girl walk in. She was everything he wanted in a girlfriend, cute, a bit on the shorter side, with dark hair pulled into long pigtails. He hadn’t seen her before and he was preparing his best smile when a loud cough drew his attention to the man standing in front of him.

 

“I’d like to order, if you are done ogling at customers like a horny brat.” He seemed both parts annoyed and amused at Eren’s flustered response.

 

“I- I wasn’t- uh- What can I get for you today, sir?” He stumbled over his words, focusing his attention on the man instead of the girl.

 

“A large green tea, unsweetened.” He ordered, taking out his card and handing it over.

 

“And your name?” Eren asked, swiping the card and then picking up a coffee cup to scribble on the order to hand to Christa, who was currently working with him. His eyes scanned the shop for the girl, and he spotted her chatting with a group sitting at a table near the back, not yet having approached the counter to order. He hoped she would soon, Annie was never late to work and would be here to relieve him any minute.

 

“Levi.” The man replied, drawing his attention back to his current customer if only for a moment.

 

“It’ll be ready in just a few moments. Have a nice day.” Eren informed the man as he passed the order on to Christa, eyes still on the girl across the shop. She had yet to reach the register, and seemed to be there only to hand over a notebook to the friends she was chatting with. As she got up to leave, he felt the fear of letting her slip away creep into his mind. Where was Annie? Once she got here he could quickly change and try to casually pass the girl on the street. Maybe bump into her by “accident” and offer to buy her a coffee to apologize. That was a typical romantic cliche, wasn’t it?

 

Just when he could feel the panic setting in as she said her goodbyes to her friends at the table, Annie appeared next to him.

 

“Oh thank god you are never late.” He praised her, much to the stoic blonde’s confusion, before he rushed back to the employee’s breakroom after shouting a quick farewell. Once back in the room, he fumbled to untie his apron and slip into more casual clothes. She was sure to be walking down the street by now, and he had to catch her. He’d never seen her in the coffee shop before, and this might be his only chance. She was exactly his type, slightly shorter than him, with dark hair and very pretty. The cliche was finally coming together.

 

He rushed out of the employee entrance and looped around the back, hoping to cut her off on the street. By some chance of fate, he caught sight of her black ponytails farther down the street, nearly to the crosswalk, and he sped up to a speed walk in order to catch up with her.

 

Despite his keen eye for spotting the girl, he was not as aware of his surroundings as he’d thought. He realized this when he slammed full force into another human being and they both crashed to the ground, warm liquid splashing everywhere.

 

“Fucking shit!” The person he’d trampled in his hurry cursed, glaring up at him from under dark bangs. “Where the fuck are you going in such a hurry, you shitty brat?”

 

Recognition dawned in the man’s eyes the same time that Eren recognized him. It was the man from the coffee shop. Leo or something. And he looked pissed.

 

“I’m sorry!” Eren yelped, standing and reaching to help the other man up, only to have his hand swatted away. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and I didn’t see you and-”

 

“Do you ever pay attention to anything beside your dick?” The dark haired man glared, wiping the spilled tea from his face.

 

“W-what?” Eren blushed.

 

“Your dick. You must be desperate to get laid if you are tracking that poor girl down with no regard for others.” He continued.

 

“I-I don’t know what you are…” He shook his head, deciding it best not to dignify the man with a response. “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention. I’ll buy you another tea to make up for it.”

 

“You bet your sorry ass you will.” The man grumbled. Levi, Eren remembered his name suddenly. Levi, not Leo. “And while you are getting me that tea, you are going to explain why the fuck it was so urgent you get to that girl.”

 

Eren swallowed. This was going to be an awkward conversation.

 

Walking back into the coffee shop was definitely high up on one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. Annie raised an eyebrow when she saw him re-enter, and though she didn’t comment as he ordered a new tea, her eyes flickered between him and the scowling man behind him. He felt his face heat up, knowing she was probably going to relate his odd behavior to her girlfriend later, and then he would be bombarded with questions from a very concerned Mikasa.

 

Once the new tea was securely planted in Levi’s hands, the pair sat at a table farthest away from the register.

 

“So?” Levi raised one thin eyebrow. “Is your dick so desperate for company that you are going to jump on the first girl you see? Or is it so lonely that you are willing to jump on anything that moves? Because if that’s the case, you should really warn a guy in advance.”

 

If possible, Eren flushed an even deeper shade of red, “No, no! I’m not gay and I’m not desperate, I’m just-” He cut himself off, because if he was being honest, he was more than a little desperate. After all, no sane person would get a job at a coffee shop for a cliche romance and try to chase down a girl if he wasn’t desperate.

 

“Horny as fuck?” Levi replied, his lips twitching up slightly in a smirk.

 

“No!” He shook his head furiously, “It’s just.. All of my friends are in committed relationships and I’m always the only single one whenever we hang out. I’m tired of it.” He explained.

 

“And to remedy this, you thought it was a good idea to chase down that poor girl, and what? Ask her to be your girlfriend right then and there?” The shorter man’s tone implied the stupidity of such a plan. Eren had to admit, out loud, it sounded pretty crazy.

 

“Yes?” His reply sounded more like a question than an answer.

 

“And have you just been scoping out girls since you’ve worked here? It’s a surprise you haven’t frightened away all the customers yet, brat.” Levi took a sip of his tea, seeming amused.

 

“Actually….” Eren shifted in his seat, embarrassed to be speaking of his plan at all, much less to a stranger like the one across from him. “I’ve only been working here a couple of weeks. The point of the job was to find some coffee shop romance, you know, like the ones in books and movies and crap.”

 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Levi’s face was completely blank as he peered at the taller man, trying to judge his truthfulness.

 

“No….” Eren drew out the word cautiously.

 

Silence descended between them.

 

One beat. Two beats. Three-

 

Levi threw back his head and laughed, loud enough to cause several heads to turn in their direction. A laugh that Eren would have never pictured from a man like him, a laugh that, if it hadn’t been from a man and directed at him, would have been infectious enough to cause his own laughter as well.

 

As it stood, he simply sat there, dying of embarrassment more and more as each second passed until Levi composed himself again.

 

Finally, the other man straightened up, though there were still traces of amusement in his eyes, “You’re a riot, kid.” He told him, “And I think I’ll just have to stick around and watch this clusterfuck of a trainwreck go down in flames.”

 

Eren wasn’t sure whether that was supposed to be a compliment, or even what he was supposed to take from that statement, but it didn’t seem to matter. Levi had already set his mind to something, and as Eren would learn, once Levi decided on something, he would see it through.

 

 


	2. Seven Minutes in Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since the Coffee Shop didn't work, Eren decided to throw a party. After all, hot, single girls come to parties, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late! I have no excuse other than I totally forgot. I've had a lot to do at work recently and been in the office longer than usual, so by the time I get home I just kind of lay down and watch anime and ignore other responsibilities. 
> 
> But, better late than never! The second part of How Cliche is up!
> 
> My tumblr is fandom-lover.tumblr.com and/or corporalnoticesyou.tumblr.com  
> And my lovely beta is noticemecorporal.tumblr.com
> 
> Enjoy!

Eren gave up on finding a coffee shop romance a month after he started working there, but kept the job nonetheless. He found he didn’t mind working shifts with Annie and Christa, and actually enjoyed chatting with the regular customers, one of which was Levi, who started coming in regularly after the day when he’d spilt his tea all over him.

 

He’d come in so regularly, in fact, that both Annie and Christa took note of his presence and began to greet him whenever he came in. Occasionally a tall brunette would accompany the shorter man, and was eventually introduced to Eren as Hanji. She was an eccentric woman, loud and always talking, not necessarily someone Eren had pictured Levi with, but they seemed to work together somehow. Levi must’ve filled her in on Eren’s schemes, because the pair always asked for updates on Eren’s attempts at romance, though there never were any.

 

Eren felt like a failure when it came to cliches - he’d been so sure that the coffee plot would work that he hadn’t even considered a back up plan.

 

Until Armin came over to help him brainstorm one night, he had no idea what he would do next.

 

“You tried the coffee shop, and that hasn’t worked.” The blonde mumbled, brows furrowed as he stared at a pad of paper which he had been scowling over for the past several minutes.

 

“Obviously, considering I’m still single.” Eren grumbled from his place in the kitchen, where he was preparing drinks for the two of them.

 

“Well… what about a big party?” Armin suggested suddenly.

 

“A party?” The brunet furrowed his eyebrows as he placed the hot chocolates on the living room table in his and Mikasa’s shared apartment.

 

“Yeah, you know, like a crazy party with tons of alcohol and party games like spin the bottle. There’s always the cliche of getting stuck in a room with someone for Seven Minutes of Heaven and then it turning into something more.” The blue eyed boy explained.

 

“I don’t know…” Eren considered it, “Isn’t that a bit high school-ish?”

 

“So?” Armin asked, “I doubt anyone would turn down the chance to drink booze, get drunk, and make out with strangers.”

 

“You have a point.” He admitted, then shrugged, because what was the worst that could happen? “Sure, why not? We’ll need to invite a bunch of people though, because if it’s just our group of friends, that defeats the purpose.”

 

“No problem!” Armin grinned, more excited at the prospect of a party than Eren had thought he’d be, “And do you think Mikasa would mind if it was here? You guys have the biggest place out of all of us.”

 

“It’ll take some convincing, but as long as I promise to clean everything up, she probably wouldn’t mind.” Eren said.

 

“Then it’s decided. Phase two of Get-Eren-A-Girlfriend-With-Cheesy-Cliches: Party Edition.”

 

*****

 

The night of the party, he was torn between drinking to get a bit buzzed or staying completely sober. On one hand, he wanted to be just buzzed enough to feel loose, on the other he wanted to be completely alert to any potential girls.

 

Jean, however, took those options away from him by slapping a bottle of vodka into his hand and screaming it was time for a round of Never Have I Ever.  Any dream of staying sober was crushed from that point on.

 

The party was a huge success, party-wise. Somehow word had gotten around about it, and tons of students from their university showed up, many of them Eren had never spoken too, but he didn’t really mind. A party was a party, and the more people there were, the bigger the chance that he’d find someone in some cheesy part cliche.

 

After the game of Never Have I Ever, which was lost miserably by the way, Armin began to organize a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. Despite Eren’s intoxicated denials of invitations to join, the blonde managed to convince him it’d be a brilliant idea to play. Never one to refuse his best friend, Eren agreed, albeit reluctantly. Aware that he was more drunk than he should be, he didn’t want to end up making a fool out of himself during the game. It would be better to call the party another failed attempted to get a girlfriend than accidently slobber all over a hot girl when they were supposed to be making out.

 

Armin managed to work around his better judgement, however, and drag him into the game. That’s just the power of best friends, he supposed.

 

QOnce seated in a large circle on the floor, Eren took a moment to observe those in the game. A lot of the players were his friends, though there were a few people he’d never met before, including some pretty girls. And.. was that Levi?

 

He nearly choked when he saw the older man -though Levi had admitted to only being a few years older than Eren- sitting across from him in the circle. He looked so out of place among the drunk college students, and looking like he was cursing whoever has dragged him to the party.

 

The culprit could be none other than the drunk and cheerful woman sitting next to him, who kept thrusting a beer in the man’s face only to have it pushed aside.

 

Eren had invited them, of course, they’d both become fast friends with not only him but their entire group over the past several weeks, but he hadn’t actually expected them to show up. The fact that they were both here, much less that Levi was here, was an unexpected surprise, though not an unwelcome one.

 

That they were playing the game, however, was another thing entirely. Eren could understand Levi coming to the party to observe the train-wreck that was his attempt to get a date, but he couldn’t understand why the man would participate in high schooled aged party games.

 

His musing was cut off by Jean loudly announcing that he would be the first one to spin.

 

The horse faced college student placed the bottle in the center of the circle, took a deep breath, and spun it.

 

Whistles rang out of the crowd when the bottle slowed to a stop, pointing in the direction of Mikasa.

 

Eren snorted in laughter at the pair’s mortified faces, failing at holding back laughter as Annie called out, “Good luck getting a piece of that ass again, Kirstein, she doesn’t bat for your team anymore.”

 

Mikasa threw a mock scowl at her girlfriend as she stood up, “I swung that way once, who’s to say I wouldn’t again?”

 

“You. Last night.” Annie’s eyes twinkled with mischief and liquid confidence. Eren rarely saw the stoic blonde displaying much emotion, but she was a fiery drunk, and it was amusing to watch.

 

Mikasa huffed and dragged Jean behind her into one of the bedrooms, but cast a reassuring wink over to Armin before they disappeared, “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to your boyfriend.”

 

Armin flushed brightly and the short silence was broken by Connie dashing for the bottle, “My turn!”

 

And so the game continued.

 

As did the drinking. Deciding that the party might be a bust for finding a girlfriend, as most everyone there was either someone he already knew or was taken, it might as well be fun to enjoy the party for what it was. Plus, it’d been awhile since he’d gotten completely and utterly wasted.

 

Some of the pairs that were chosen by the bottle were downright hilarious, having Eren laughing so hard he was afraid he’d pee his pants. Or maybe that was the alcohol, but whatever.

 

He would never forget the priceless looks on Connie and Jean’s faces when Armin and Sasha got sent to the room together only to come out seven minutes later wearing each others clothes, with Armin wearing bright red lipstick and eyeliner.

 

To be fair, Armin made a hell of a pretty girl.

 

Eren had nearly forgotten he was playing the game until the bottle was suddenly shoved into his hands by Ymir, who was in less than a good mood after not being paired with Christa but some random dude instead.

 

Taking a deep breath, Eren placed the bottle in the center of the circle and spun it, willing it to stop on the cute girl four people down from him who’d been playing Never Have I Ever with him earlier.

 

The bottle slowed and crept passed her, sliding to a gradual halt pointing straight across from him.

 

Wolf whistles broke over from the crowd as the bottle settled it’s point and Eren’s gaze followed the point up to meet a pair of gray eyes that looked just as startled as he was.

 

“Get that ass, Munchkin!” Hanji cheered, shoving Levi to his feet.

 

Eren flushed a deep red, whether from the alcohol or embarrassment, he couldn’t tell, as he stood up and was not so gently pushed toward his unoccupied bedroom by Armin. He stumbled, knocked off his balance by the enormous sum of alcohol he’d consumed, only to be caught at the elbow by Levi before he could face plant into the carpet.

 

“Freaking shitty glasses.” Eren heard the other man mumble under his breath as he helped the brunet into the room.

 

The door was roughly slammed behind them and a loud voice called from the otherside, “Timer is set for seven, boys! We’ll be barging in whether you are done having fun or not!”

 

“You are drunk off your ass.” Was the first thing Levi said to him, causing him to frown and shake his head.

 

“Am s’not.” He replied, only slurring his words slightly, to his joy. He mentally patted himself on the back before he stumbled forward, the urge to lay down on his comfy bed overwhelming him.

 

“Completely wasted.” Levi sighed, helping him onto the bed, only to be caught by surprise when Eren forgot how to let go and ended up pulling him down with him.

 

“Sorry!” He yelped as their heads banged together, causing the world to spin momentarily for the college student.

 

“Brat,” The older man scolded, moving away to sit on the edge of the bed while Eren sprawled out on the center, “I don’t see how getting drunk is going to help you get laid.”

 

Eren frowned again, sitting up despite the dizziness it caused, “I gave up for tonight. I failed another cliche. I’m not gonna end up making out with a hot guy during 7 Minutes in Heaven but that’s okay because there are plenty of other cliches to choose from.” He explained carefully.

 

“Eren?” Levi prompted.

 

“Mm?” He tried to focus his eyes on the other man’s face, which had become blurry as he rambled on.

 

“You said guy.”

 

“I said guy?” Eren repeated the words slowly, not comprehending their meaning.

 

“You aren’t going to make out with a hot guy…?” Levi reiterated what he’d said a few moments before, but it took a few seconds for the words to click in his alcohol addled brain.

 

“No, of course I’m not. I’m going to make out with a hot chick.” Eren agreed, grinning widely.

 

Levi’s faced conveyed a mixture of amusement and annoyance. “You are pretty desperate, you know that?”

 

“I’m not desperate!” Eren exclaimed, pouting at the accusation.

 

“Oh? So you aren’t willing to jump on anything that moves?” Levi teased, reminiscent of their first conversation. Eren, however, was drunk enough to not understand the reference.

 

“No, of course not! I have standards.” He told Levi pridefully.

 

Levi simply rolled his eyes, “Mmhmm, and what are these standards?”

 

Eren’s eyes widened in momentary panic as he scrambled to think, “Pretty! And smart! And umm…” It was hard to think, he realized, with those gray eyes staring at him, concentrating on him with all their attention. “Eyes, nose, umm lips!”

 

“Pretty high standards there, kid.” The raven-haired man smirked, “Lips and eyes are hard to come by, after all. Do you think I’d meet those standards?”

 

“You’d meet the standards?” Eren repeated dumbly, transfixed on how much smaller the room had gotten and how close Levi was. Had their thighs always been brushing? He couldn’t remember. He couldn’t even remember how they ended up in his room.

 

“If I was a girl, of course.” Levi supplied.

 

“A girl.” Eren mumbled, eyes drifting to Levi’s lips, then back up to his eyes, only to be distracted by those lips again. His eyes really were gorgeous, not just gray, by blinding silver pools, swirling and beckoning him closer.

 

“Because you aren’t gay.” Levi reminded him, those lips curling up around the words.

 

“Mmmhmm.” He agreed, completely entranced by the other man. He wondered if his lips felt as soft as they looked. Levi was always so expressionless, either that or mocking, it would be interesting to see what else his mouth could do besides spew insults. He wondered how the older man would taste.

 

“Eren?” Levi’s voice reached his ears, causing his gaze to dart up to meet those silver eyes.

 

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

 

He nodded and let his eyes fall closed, allowing Levi’s hand to tangle itself in his hair and guide him closer until their lips just barely brushed.

 

They stayed like that for several seconds before Levi pulled away, gray eyes searching green for confirmation that what he was doing was okay.

 

Eren, impatient after having felt the softness of those lips, wanted a deeper taste and ducked his head to press their lips more firmly together.

 

The kiss was sloppy, with Eren too desperate and too eager and Levi too cautious and gentle, but it left them both breathless, and had them jumping a foot apart when a loud knock sounded on the door.

 

“Put on your pants, kiddies, before I knock down this door!” Hanji’s sing-song voice flowed through the wood.

 

She needn’t have worried though, because by the time she opened the door a second later, Eren was passed out across the bed and Levi was wearing the same blank expression as usual.

 

“What happened?” Hanji asked, a twinge of disappointment in her voice.

 

“The shit’s drunk and going to have a major hangover in the morning. Come on, let’s get out of here.” Levi replied, dragging the brunette behind him as they left the sleeping boy behind.

 

***

 

The next morning, Eren did, in fact, wake up with a killer hangover. So bad that he called in sick to work and spent the day moaning and groaning in bed.

 

When Armin called to ask him how the rest of his night went, he winced when he tried to remember, “I have no idea what happened after Jean and Mikasa went off into that room. I must’ve downed several gallons of alcohol at that point.”

 

“Oh boo.” Armin seemed very disappointed, but wouldn’t tell him why. “Oh well, at least that means you don’t remember me in drag.”

 

“You- what?!” Eren cried, then groaned from the pang of pain. He wondered what else he couldn’t remember if he had missed something as crazy as Armin in drag.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, and so there it is. Eren is a dork who doesn't realize his sexuality and Levi is a dork for liking such a dork. My babies...
> 
> Next Wednesday is the last chapter to this short fic - and it's by far the longest! With some angst as well. 
> 
> See you all then!
> 
> And remember: comments and kudos kick my butt into writing gear!


	3. Cliches Are Cliches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is oblivious. Levi is not. Time to figure shit out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE! 
> 
> I hope you've all been enjoying the fluff so far. I know I have! This fic is a nice break from long fics, which might take me a while to get back into considering the amount of work I have now. 
> 
> I warn you, this chapter is a long one. Long enough to be split into 2 separate chapters but I really didn't want to. 
> 
> The usual:  
> My tumblr is fandom-lover.tumblr.com and/or corporalnoticesyou.tumblr.com  
> My lovely beta is noticemecorporal.tumblr.com
> 
> And without further ado... the conclusion!

It had been about two months since his decision to find romance through cheesy cliches, and nothing had come from it. The coffee shop was a bust, as was the party, and every scheme after.

 

Ice skating to teach a pretty girl how to skate? He fell flat on his face and only managed to get off the ice after Levi stopped being a colossal ass for laughing at him and helped him up.

 

Book store romance? He got scared away from the romance section once Armin started explaining Fifty Shades of Gray.

 

He was hopeless.

 

He was running out of ideas too, even with Armin and Levi’s combined efforts.

 

Levi, to Eren’s surprise, had driven wholeheartedly into his plots. The pair spent many a night watching cheesy romantic comedies in an effort to come up with a new ploy. They’d continued on their “Research Nights” -as he had dubbed them- even when Armin was busy off with his boyfriend.

 

“Too bad you’d probably get arrested for crashing a wedding. Or beaten up at the very least.” Levi mused.

 

“Ha, ha.” Eren deadpanned in response, “All these movies are way too unrealistic. I’m a broke college student, I can’t travel halfway across the world and meet some mysterious foreign girl while she’s stealing some rare treasure as part of an elaborate heist to take down the Queen of England. “

 

Silence for a moment. Then, “Why would someone want to take down the Queen of England? And how would treasure help with that?”

 

Eren groaned, throwing himself backwards on the comfy couch that occupied Levi’s living room, where they were enjoying another in a series of their movie nights. It’d become a regular thing between them, meeting up at Levi’s on a Friday or Saturday night and watching the crappy chick flicks until one of them passed out from stuffing themselves with too much pizza or popcorn. Hanging out with Levi for movie night was far more preferable to movie nights with his other friends, which had become more of couples-plus-Eren nights.

 

“You’re missing the point.” Eren told the older man with a sigh.

 

“No, but I’m very concerned. Do you know anything about a plot to take down the Queen of England? I think that’s considered high treason, kid.” Levi pressed, his voice filled with what seemed to be genuine concern, but Eren knew him better than that.

 

Even after only a few short months of their friendship, he’d gotten remarkably well at reading the older man. Levi, for all his cold and angry exterior demeanor, enjoyed teasing his friends immensely. It was also, as Eren had discovered, a tactic to pull him out of the slump he got into whenever he dwelled on his lack of romance for too long.

 

“We live in America, Levi,” The college student reminded the older man, “It can’t be treason.”

 

“Fair enough. But if you do know anything about this plot to overthrow the monarchy, you’ll probably have to go into the witness protection program in order to avoid assassination attempts to prevent leakage.” Levi declared.

 

“You’re ridiculous.” Eren mumbled, turning to bury his face in the couch cushion.

 

“Says the shit who was chasing down some chick he’d never spoken to before to beg for a girlfriend the first time we met.” The dark haired man retorted.

 

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” He sighed, straightening up again to peer at the screen, where the credits were rolling from their last movie. “What’s next?”

 

“Hmm…” Levi scanned the list of chick flicks for rent on his television, “Friends With Benefits?”

 

“Why not?” Eren agreed, settling back against the couch for another movie.

 

***

 

“I thought the point of being friends with benefits was to avoid getting emotionally attached. The fact they end up in love defeats the purpose.”  Eren complained as the credits rolled.

 

“That’s the point, brat.” Levi rolled his eyes, standing up and starting to clean up the food mess they had made. “It’s a movie about best friends falling in love. With all the movies we’ve seen, I’d think you’d have picked up on that cliche right away.”

 

Eren shot up, eyes wide, “That’s it!” He exclaimed, throwing off the blanket and hurriedly shoving his feet into his shoes.

 

“What’s it?” Levi’s exasperated voice came from the kitchen.

 

“Friends falling in love! That’s the cliche I’ve been missing - it’s so perfect too!” Managing to finally get his feet into his shoes, the brunet grabbed his jacket and rushed to the door, “I’ve got to go, Levi, but I’ll see you tomorrow at the coffeeshop!” The door slammed behind him without waiting for the other man’s response.

 

“Such an oblivious little shit.” Levi threw out the remnants of the popcorn with a sigh.

 

***

 

“I have a problem.” Was Eren’s greeting to the older man when he fell into the seat across from him on his break.

 

“Tea first.” The dark haired man deadpanned, not looking up from his laptop until the boy slid the cup across the table to him. “What is it this time?”

 

“I don’t have any friends.” Eren spoke with all seriousness.

 

Levi raised an eyebrow, “Oh good, I’m glad you realized I’m just using you for free tea.”

 

Eren rolled his eyes and groaned, burying his face in his arms, “Not like that, you jerk.” He grumbled, “I mean, all of my friends are taken.”

 

“I thought we already established this.” Levi frowned, nodding to the coffee shop, “Isn’t that why this happened?”

 

He groaned, scowling at Levi with an expression that told the man just how helpful Eren thought he was being. “Yes, but that means that I can’t succeed in the friends-turned-lovers cliche, and I’m fresh out of all other ideas!”

 

Silence descended between them for several minutes while Levi typed and Eren wallowed in his sadness.

 

Finally Levi closed his laptop and spoke up, “Eren?”

 

The boy in question’s head peered up at the man from its position on the table.

 

“Is it possible that the reason you can’t get a date is because you’ve been looking in the wrong place?” The older man asked, causing his brows to furrow in confusion.

 

“I’ve been looking everywhere - that’s the point of the cliches, they got me out of my comfort zone and exposed me to people I wouldn’t have met otherwise.” Eren explained.

 

“And how’s that been going?” Levi folded his arms across his chest, sitting back to observe him as he spoke.

 

“What kind of question is that? Obviously if it was going well I’d have a girlfriend.” Eren frowned, unsure at what the man was getting at.

 

“I don’t know how to get this through your head gently, kid, but you’ve already had a million chances, you just weren’t interested.”

 

Eren’s head shot up from the table, “What are you talking about?”

 

Levi sighed, seeming to be getting more impatient as the conversation dragged on and he only got more confused. “The day I met you there were at least five pretty college girls sitting around alone, and you didn’t seem to pay them any attention. Same with the party - there were plenty of girls you’d never met but I never saw you talk to even one of them. If you were really desperate for a girlfriend, you would have be drooling over any one of them, but you never even tried.”

 

“It seems to me that you say you want a girlfriend, and maybe you do on some level, but you truly don’t know what you want. The only time you ever chased after a girl was when you knew she was already too far gone to get.”

 

Eren’s mouth opened and closed several times as he attempted to come up with a response, but he came up empty. The only thing he could think to say was, “But I’m sick of being alone and watching all of my friends with their significant others. I want that too.”

 

“I don’t doubt that,” Levi agreed, “You want something, but you aren’t sure what it is. Which is why I think you’ve been looking in the wrong place from the start.”

 

“How have I been looking in the wrong place for a girlfriend?” He asked, genuinely curious. He figured Levi was right - he hadn’t taken any of the opportunities that were there, but looking back he couldn’t determine why. He wasn’t sure what he’d been wrong about.

 

Levi looked torn between being frustrated and sympathetic at the question, then shook his head and started packing up his laptop, “I can’t answer that for you, kid. You’ll have to figure it out for yourself.”

  
  


“Wait- Levi.” Eren caught his arm before he could leave, and the older man turned faster than he expected, and suddenly their faces were much closer than he’d anticipated.

 

He had a feeling of deja vouz as he stared into the man’s gray eyes - no, not gray, silver, - he corrected himself. He hadn’t noticed how smooth Levi’s skin was before, how soft it looked like it would be to touch. He felt something twinge in the back of his mind as his gaze darted down to the older man’s lips, which looked even softer than his skin.

 

“Your break is over, Eren.” Levi’s words shook him out of his daze, grounding him back on Earth and raising a blush to his cheeks. “Is there something you wanted to say?”

 

“Uhh.” Eren wracked his brain, trying to come up with what he’d been thinking before he got distracted the the raven-haired man. “N-no.”

 

“I’ll see you around then.” There was a hint of disappointment in Levi’s face as he turned and left the coffee shop, and Eren was left with the feeling he’d somehow failed at something, though he didn’t know what.

 

***

 

The next several days, Eren couldn’t shake off the dread he’d felt start to build since Levi had left him at the coffeeshop. The look on the other man’s face had been one that Eren had never seen before, a mixture of disappointment and defeat that didn’t suit the man’s beautiful features.

 

He had a feeling it had to do with whatever Levi had been saying about “looking in the wrong place”, but he hadn’t the faintest idea what that could mean.

 

Levi hadn’t texted him since then, despite their near-constant communication before, though to be fair Eren hadn’t had the courage to text him either. He felt like they were fighting, even if there was no reason for him to feel that way. Unless he counted the fact that Levi hadn’t come into the coffee shop for the past several days either.

 

After their first meeting, Levi had become a regular at the coffeeshop, and while it wasn’t unusual for him to get busy and not stop by a couple of days, Eren couldn’t shake the idea it had something to do with him.

 

And he was clueless as to what to do about it.

 

Friday night he still hadn’t heard anything from Levi, and after staring at his phone for several hours, he finally accepted that their weekly movie nights had come to an end. The rain pouring from the sky reflected his mood perfectly and he was very tempted to stay home and sulk the night away. He waited until the last possible second before heading out to Armin’s, deciding that wallowing around his apartment for another day probably wasn’t healthy, and he should at least attempt to get some social interaction.

 

The usual group was already at the blonde’s when he arrived, all the couples already spread out across the college student’s living room. Most were surprised to see him there, as he’d spent the past several movie nights at Levi’s.

 

“Oi, Jaeger, good to see your shitty face again!” Jean called from his space on the floor, sprawled out on the ground with his head resting in Armin’s lap.

 

“You have no room to comment on my face, horseface.” Eren shot back, taking an empty spot on the couch, next to Mikasa who was curled around Annie.

 

He’d forgotten just how couple-ly all of his friends were when they were together like this. Even Sasha and Connie were googly eyed for each other, with Connie tossing food up into the air for Sasha to catch and kissing her on the cheek each time she succeeded, which was almost every throw.

 

Sitting there amongst the couples, he felt a pang of regret and his eyes automatically went to his phone. He had no new notifications. He couldn't help but wonder what Levi was doing at the moment, whether he was at home or out, whether he was thinking of him too.

 

Looking in the wrong place, he frowned, struggling, as he had been the past several days, over what Levi could have meant by that.

 

Why should he care anyways? It's not like he had put anything at risk in my crazy schemes. Why would he be so disappointed? Why does it feel like the end of us if I don't figure this out?

 

His mind was running in circles. He had thought of everything, but he couldn't come up with a sound answer to his questions that made sense. Unless...

 

His gaze swept across the room, taking in all his friends, how they all seemed so contented with each other, so happy.

 

Unless...

 

He noticed how calm Jean looked, contented to lay his head in Armin's lap and have the boy play with his hair, so different from how arrogant and full of himself he usually was. Armin softened him and brought out the best in him.

 

He remembered the cold way that Levi had acted when they first met, and how he'd gradually softened to him.

 

Unless...

 

Unless... Levi liked him?

 

The idea was so preposterous and out there that he nearly dismissed it immediately.

 

But looking back, it wasn't far out of the realm of possibility. After all, Levi stuck with him through his whole crazy plan, silently watching and offering his constant presence. There was no need for him to come to the party, or the ice skating, or host all the movie nights.

 

He'd been there since the beginning.

 

Had Eren really been so blind?

 

He had to ask Levi, to confirm what he thought he knew.

 

He jumped up, and ignoring the weird looks his friends sent his way, ran out the door.

 

***

 

It was late by the time he arrived at the older man’s apartment and the pouring rain had yet to stop. As he walked up the steps to the door, getting soaked by the storm, he realized that Levi might not even be home. After all, it was a Friday night, and it was entirely plausible that the older man had gone out. Where he would go in such weather was a mystery, but who was Eren to judge?

 

He tried to brush those fears aside, however, as he raised a hand to knock on the door.

 

The second ticked by, feeling like hours as he waited to hear some kind of movement from the other side of the door.

 

He knocked again, nervous that Levi actually wasn’t home, or that he was sleeping. He’d feel like an idiot for coming all the way over here for no-

 

The door opened.

 

His mouth went dry and and his brain froze momentarily.

 

Levi stood there, shirtless with a towel wrapped around his waist. His dark hair was damp, dripping water down his neck and across his chest. Eren swallowed heavily and attempted to drag his eyes back up to the man’s own.

 

"If you are just going to stand there staring while I freeze my balls off I'm going to slam this door in your shitty face." Levi broke through his momentary lapse in brain function, already starting to close the door.

 

He said the first thing that popped into his mind, "Hanji's not your girlfriend, is she?"

 

Levi stared at him for a long moment, expression carefully blank, but Eren sensed some surprise from the way he shifted back.

 

"Go wait on the couch while I get dressed. And try not to soak the furniture" He said finally, turning and leaving him at the door while he walked toward his bedroom.

 

Eren stood at the door for several more seconds before stepping inside the apartment and closing the door behind him. He took a seat on the couch, after placing a blanket down to avoid getting it wet, and flipped through the channels in the television, at home in the familiar room where they had shared so many movie nights. He settled on a crappy horror movie playing on SyFi, done with romantic comedies for the moment.

 

He actually got into the movie a bit, nearly forgetting that a movie night wasn't his purpose, until Levi appeared next to him, dressed in loose fitting pajamas.

 

"What the fuck is that?"

 

Eren didn't even glance away from the grotesque monster on the screen. "I think it's some sort of slug."

 

"It has scales. And is breathing fire." Levi pointed out, sounding faintly disgusted.

 

"It's SyFi." Eren said in explanation before muting the beast and turning to focus his attention on the older man. "You didn't answer my question."

 

“What happened to those shitty romcoms? I thought you were doing research with those.” Levi ignored him in favor of heading for the kitchen. “Tea?”

 

“Yes, please.” He was freezing, and some nice warm tea sounded amazing. “I’m done with romantic movies.” He informed the man, frustrated at the direction of the conversation but patient enough to wait for him to join him on the couch before he said anything more.

 

Levi took a seat beside him a few minutes later, cradling two cups of tea, one of which he handed to the younger male.

 

“No, she isn’t” He finally admitted after several long sips of his tea.

 

“Then why did you let me believe she was?” Eren asked, frowning at his cup.

 

“You assumed it.” Levi shrugged, “You assume a lot of things and I’d rather let you figure them out for yourself than tell you. If I told you everything you thought you knew, you probably would hate me. Besides, I found it hilarious you thought I’d put up with shitty glasses as a girlfriend.” He smirked.

 

“Ha ha, very funny.” Eren made a face, then considered his words. “Like how I assumed I was straight?”

 

The corners of Levi’s lips twitched into a smile, “Like how you assumed that your cliche love interest would be female.” He agreed, then shook his head, “You know, with all those gay friends of yours, it’s surprising you never considered anyone outside of the female sex.”

 

Eren blushed, though Levi had a point. “I’ve always just considered myself the token straight friend. It seems ridiculous that everyone in my friend group would turn out to be gay.”

 

“Birds of a feather.” Levi smirked.

 

Silence fell between them for several seconds before Eren spoke up again, feeling awkward. “So, what now?”

 

“What do you mean?” The other man raised an eyebrow, seeming amused at Eren’s discomfort.

 

“I mean.. between us?” He frowned, confused at why Levi wasn’t helping him out when he was clearly lost. He may have been researching romantic cliches for months, but he was completely clueless when it came to relationships.

 

“It’s up to you where you want to go from here.”

 

He made a face, “Why is it my decision? Shouldn’t it be both of ours?”

 

Levi sighed, looking at him like he was an idiot. Which, to be fair, he kind of was. “I already made up my mind, brat. I’ve known I liked you since your shitty party when you shoved your drunk tongue down my throat and I wasn’t disgusted. I’ve just been waiting for your dumb ass to figure itself out.”

 

That was news to Eren. He blinked several times. “I- I uhh.. shoved my tongue down your throat?”

 

“You were wasted. And eager. And you passed out right after.” Levi informed him matter-of-factly.

 

Eren groaned, covering his face with his hands in an effort to hide his embarrassment. “I didn’t really, did I?”

 

“You did.” The older man confirmed, “Which makes for a pretty shitty first kiss between us. I expected more from a brat so hung up on romantic cliches.” There was teasing in his voice.

 

“Sorry to disappoint,” Eren rolled his eyes, then grinned, an idea popping in his head. He stood up quickly, nearly knocking over his tea in the process.

 

“Oi, watch it, you sh-!” Levi complained, but was cut off by the younger man.

 

“I’ll make it up to you.” He declared, heading to the door.

 

“Where the fuck are you going? It’s pouring outside.” The dark haired male narrowed his eyes.

 

“Just wait! I’ll be back, I promise.” Eren told him before rushing out the front door despite the gray clouds dumping buckets of water. He was soaked within seconds of leaving the apartment’s cover for his car. Once seated in the vehicle, he started the engine and connected his phone.

 

He called Levi, trying to keep his teeth from chattering as he waited for the man to pick up. He may have been freezing, but he was determined to see his final scheme through.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Where did you-”

 

Eren cut him off again, “Just come meet me by my car, okay?”

 

“Hell no. I’m not getting cloud piss all over my pajamas. Whatever your shitty plan is, it can wait until tomorrow.” Levi argued.

 

“Levi, please.” He pleaded with the man, starting to shiver furiously.

 

He heard a sigh from the other end, then a grumbled, “Fine, you brat.” The phone clicked. Grinning to himself, Eren scrolled through his phone until he found what he was looking for and glanced back to the apartment. He waited until the older man was trudging across the parking lot to him before he clicked play, turning up the volume and stepping out of his car to greet him.

 

The first several notes echoed across the empty parking lot, and the second they reached the older man’s ears, a look of disbelief crossed his face.

 

“Eren Jaeger,” Levi stood in front of him now, shivering in the rain but wearing such an amused expression that he didn’t seem to care about the water. “You have to be the cheesiest fucker I’ve ever known.”

 

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Eren grinned, drawing the shorter man closer in his arms and dipping down to bring their lips together.

 

_Don’t you forget about me._

_Don’t don’t don’t don’t_

_Don’t you forget about me_

The kiss was soft at first, tentative as they tasted each other, both sober, for the first time. It was wet, but neither of them minded the rain as it soaked through their clothes and into their bones. Instead, Levi simply wrapped his arms around Eren’s shoulders and pressed them closer together, deepening the kiss.

 

_Would you recognize me?_

_Call my name, or walk on by?_

_Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling_

_Down, down, down_

 

They stood there for what seemed like hours, but was really only several minutes, until their teeth were chattering too much to continue to kiss.

 

It was too cold to be labeled the best kiss ever. There was too much teeth, shivering, and water from the rain, but to them, it was perfect.

  
Cliches are cliches for a reason, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was sufficiently cheesy for you! I know my teeth were rotting from the fluff, so hopefully you enjoyed it as well. 
> 
> Until next time, my lovely readers!
> 
> And remember: comments and kudos kick my butt into writing gear!

**Author's Note:**

> And that's the first chapter! 
> 
> What do you guys think? See any flaws with Eren's "perfect" plan?
> 
> See you all next Wednesday!
> 
> Remember: Comments and kudos kick my butt into writing gear!


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